Treat Yourself How You Treat Others
For me this statement is greater and holds much more value than ‘Treat Others How You Like To Be Treated’.
Who nowadays puts themselves first, above everyone else in their life they value themselves greatest? In my experience not many at all. But I’ll explain why loving yourself more than anyone else is the way to a happier, healthier life. Self-love is thought of as selfish and self-centred (The latter is actually true) but the only person you will ever be with the whole of your life is YOU, right? You are your soulmate, your lifelong companion, others come and go, so surely taking care of yourself, your best mate should be paramount.
In ‘You Are The Placebo’ by Dr Joe Dispenza he says that being in a state of survival emotions such as fear, panic, stress, worry, anxiety or anger will cause you not to change, either physically or mentally. You will not grow, heal, learn or move forward. The body and mind are trapped in fight or flight mode with the chemical and physiological responses that accompany those feelings. As a personal trainer I’ve seen it time and again with clients who are unable to change their shape even with a strict nutrition plan and exercise routine because they’re in survival mode; they’re simply not in the right state physically and mentally, as one, to bring about change. They self-loathe.
The book goes on to say that change will only occur with elevated emotions, especially gratitude. And the most powerful form of gratitude is for us? Self-love.
On my journey to greater self-love, I’ve had to look in the mirror and forgive myself for my past, only then have I been able to give myself the elevated emotions I needed to grow, learn, heal and love. Everyone has their own reasons for not putting themselves first, but most of these can be overcome by facing up to yourself and asking for forgiveness, just like you would forgive your best friend or children or spouse. Remember, treat yourself how you treat others!
Love comes from within first.
By talking to yourself in the third person ‘Matt’ you alert your brain to pay attention to what you have to say, it’s called the power of objectivity. Referring to yourself from a more objective view makes you better able to deal with those negative emotions we all have about ourselves and better able to offer ourselves support and gratitude.
‘Matt, we all make mistakes, I forgive you’ is what I tell myself every day in the mirror. And guess what, I smile, I cheer for myself, I feel so much more positive.
And you know what? Everyone I encounter that day benefits from my positive, elevated emotions. My clients, my wife, my children, my family, my friends… everyone!
Self-love is selfless.
Self-loathing is selfish.
Today. Give yourself one minute to look in the mirror, not at your wrinkles, lack of hair, sagging skin or lumpy bits but go deep into your soul, you, and give yourself a pep talk just like you would to a friend.
“You’ve got this Matt”
“I have your back Matt”
“You’re doing great Matt”
Find a pep talk that relates to you and call yourself in the third person. Then notice the difference.
If you’re interested to know more about how to find elevated emotions that bring about health, change and love, grab a copy of Mel Robbins ‘The High 5 Habit’ or drop me an email.
Matt Jordan – the Energy Coach